All students have access to 24/7 free and immediate telemental health services through SaintsCare powered by TimelyMD.
Talk Now is a part of SaintsCare and is a free and confidential service that will immediately link you to a counselor for a tele-counseling session.
SaintsCare provides D'Youville students and employees access to free, 24/7/365 mental telehealth care from anywhere in the United States. Whether you're feeling anxious or overwhelmed, you can talk to a licensed provider from your smartphone or any web-enabled device.
SaintsCare and register with your .edu email address.To start a visit, just go to
There are three no-cost services available to students:
- TalkNow: 24/7, on-demand access to a mental health professional to talk about anything at anytime
- Scheduled Counseling: scheduled options to speak to a licensed counselor
- Health Coaching: access to a nutritional specialist to help you adopt healthier lifestyle behaviors related to sleep issues, weight management and more
The counseling center is located on the 1st floor of Marguerite Hall and available to students as needed. If you are unable to utilize SaintsCare or need an in-person appointment please contact Amy Hahn, LMHC at (716) 829-7815 or firstname.lastname@example.org.
- For mental health emergencies during regular business hours please contact Amy Hahn at (716) 829-7815 or D’Youville Campus Safety at (716) 829-7777
- For mental health emergencies after-hours or on weekends please contact D’Youville Campus Safety at (716) 829-7777 if you are on campus or Erie County Crisis Services at (716) 834-3131
Please read our Statement of Understanding as it contains important information about our clinical services and policies.
- Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a crisis counselor 24/7
- NYS Domestic and Sexual Violence 24 Hour Hotline 1-800-942-6906
- National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 (TALK)
- Veterans Crisis Line 1-800-273-8255 (press 1)
- National Sexual Assault Hotline 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE)
- For life threatening emergencies, dial 911
Those who suffer from depression often feel as if they are alone and have no one to turn to. That is never the case. The following organizations are dedicated to providing resources for those living with depression:
- Anxiety and Depression Association of America: This organization is dedicated to promoting the prevention, treatment and cure of anxiety, depression and related disorders. Its site offers insight into understanding depressive mental illnesses provides links for those seeking help and identifies mobile apps designed to help people living with depressive illnesses.
- National Institute of Mental Health: A division of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, the NIMH works to transform the understanding and treatment of mental illnesses through clinical research, paving the way for prevention, recovery and a cure. NIMH offers a wealth of information on pinpointing signs and symptoms of mental illnesses, resources for seeking help and opportunities to participate in clinical trials to further research.
- ULifeline : This online resource for college students seeking mental health wellness provides a wealth of information, such as tips on helping friends in crisis and ideas on developing good wellness habits.
- American College Health Association: The ACHA promotes healthy campus communities and works to serve as the principal leadership organization for advancing the health of college students. There are many resources such as helplines, brochures on different types of depression, and external links for seeking help.
- The Jed Foundation: The foundation has a number of online resources to promote emotional health and prevent suicide among college students. Through its Half of Us campaign, the foundation promotes mental health awareness nationally via on-air or live events and connects students with health care providers.
The following organizations are excellent resources for students suffering from anxiety disorders. Each organization provides information on the different forms of anxiety and resources that explore approaches to coping.
- Anxiety and Depression Association of America: This organization is dedicated to promoting the prevention, treatment and cure of anxiety and depression, and related disorders. This site offers insight into how we might better understand depressive mental illnesses; it also suggests several innovative mobile apps that cater to users with depressive illnesses.
- American Psychological Association: The APA is dedicated to advancing the creation, communication and application of psychological knowledge to benefit society. This site offers a great deal of insight into the differences between anxiety disorders and depression, and has tools to help you find a Psychologist specializing in anxiety disorder treatment near you.
- Anxiety Resource Center: This nonprofit is dedicated to offering assistance to those suffering from anxiety disorders. The website has a lengthy list of education materials, a newsletter, and a blog to help you stay updated on breakthroughs in research and trends.
- Social Anxiety Association: Promoting the understanding and treatment of social anxiety disorder, this nonprofit maintains a large body of resources for people suffering from social anxiety. The site provides links to support groups, information on how to find health professionals, news and updates on the disorder, and extensive information on treatment options.
- Beyond OCD: This site features suggestions and resources intended to help sufferers cope with and conquer OCD in college. Beyond OCD also offers tools for visitors to find support groups in their area.
Suicide Prevention Resources
There are many resources available to you through the personal counseling center on campus or through the following organizations dedicated to preventing suicide:
- Active Minds: This organization is dedicated to educating and changing the conversation about mental health on college campuses. There are over 400 chapters on campuses across the U.S. that works to promote the growing concerns of mental health and teach prevention techniques for students and faculty. Active Minds has a list of resources for students in a crisis, and has a therapist/counseling search tool for locating professionals in your area.
- National Alliance on Mental Illness: Dedicated to improving the lives of Americans affected by mental illness, NAMI provides information on suicide prevention, a link to a 24 hour suicide lifeline crisis chat, a text support line and social network groups to join the conversation.
- American Foundation for Suicide Prevention: The AFSP works to end and "prevent suicide through research, education and advocacy." It has a wealth of information on suicide statistics in America, prevention techniques and a lengthy list of available resources. The foundation also hosts Out of the Darkness Walks on campuses across America to raise funds for youth suicide prevention and to reach out to students to help create a safe environment.
- National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Calling the toll-free number, 1-800-273-TALK (8255), connects those in need to compassionate people who are there to provide the emotional support some can't find anywhere else. They will help family and friends of those at risk find ways to help their loved ones. All calls are confidential.
- The Trevor Project: A project began to give LGBTQ individuals of any age a safe space to talk and find support; the Trevor Project provides several outlets for communication and help. The Trevor Lifeline, 1-866-488-7386, is a toll-free, 24/7 intervention and suicide prevention service.
Eating Disorder Resources
If you need assistance helping a friend through an eating disorder, or if you need to understand more about them before you come to terms with the fact that you may have one, the following list of resources are a good place to start. Each organization provides information on getting help for yourself and a loved one.
- National Eating Disorder Association: NEDA is dedicated to improving the understanding of eating disorders in America. Its site has a list of links and tools to seek help and a wealth of information regarding support groups, treatment referrals and research studies.
- National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders: ANAD is dedicated to the prevention and alleviation of eating disorders. The organization has a helpline and email to provide information and answer questions for sufferers. ANAD also hosts an annual conference for news and updates on the disorders and to connect patients with healthcare providers and support.
- Academy for Eating Disorders: This global network is dedicated to the research, education, prevention and treatment of eating disorders. AED is a great resource for learning about the differences between eating disorders, identifying signs and symptoms, and finding information for professionals in your area, as well as news on treatment options and developments in research.
- Eating Disorder Hope: This site provides information on education and awareness, recovery tools, and access to treatment and support. The organization also has a blog with specific news and information for college students suffering from eating disorders.
- American College Health Association: The ACHA promotes healthy campus communities and works to serve as the principal leadership organization for advancing the health of college students. Many resources are made available on the site: helplines, brochures on different types of depression, and external links to seek help.
Consult these resources available to you to find out more about curbing your addiction today:
- National Institute for Drug Abuse: This database provides reports on recent research and prevention programs for alcohol and drug addiction. NIDA offers findings on the latest research projects, clinical trial offers, and guidance for those seeking treatment.
- Substance Abuse and Mental Health Service Administration: This is an agency within the Department of Health that works towards advancing behavioral health in the United States. This site has extensive information on substance abuse, a treatment locator by zip code, and a national hotline available 24/7, 365 days a year for individuals suffering from substance abuse.
- National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence: This organization provides support for those suffering from substance abuse. The site has information for every stage of addiction, from admitting your issues to recovery; it also hosts a directory of programs and services offered in your area.
- Alcoholics Anonymous: This 12-step program is designed to give alcoholics the opportunity to rebuild their lives and learn to live without alcohol. AA provides members with a support group and sponsor to help through the rough patches. You can find a location for a meeting near your zip code on their site.
- Narcotics Anonymous: Much like AA, this is a 12-step program designed to help those who have developed a dependency on drugs. You can find meetings near you, publications and news, and the support you need to break your habit and work through addiction.
Building Healthy Romantic Relationships
The Beginning Stages
While the early months of a relationship can feel effortless and exciting, successful long-term relationships involve ongoing effort and compromise by both partners. Building healthy patterns early in your relationship can establish a solid foundation for the long run. When you are just starting a relationship, it is important to:
- Build — Build a foundation of appreciation and respect. Focus on all the considerate things your partner says and does. Happy couples make a point of noticing even small opportunities to say "thank you" to their partner, rather than focusing on mistakes their partner has made.
- Explore — Explore each other's interests so that you have a long list of things to enjoy together. Try new things together to expand mutual interests
- Establish — Establish a pattern of apologizing if you make a mistake or hurt your partner's feelings. Saying "I'm sorry" may be hard in the moment, but it goes a long way towards healing a rift in a relationship. Your partner will trust you more if he or she knows that you will take responsibility for your words and actions.
As the Months Go By: Important Things to Recognize as Your Relationship Grows
Relationships Change — Changes in life outside your relationship will impact what you want and need from the relationship. Since change is inevitable, welcoming it as an opportunity to enhance the relationship is more fruitful than trying to keep it from happening.
Check in Periodically — Occasionally set aside time to check in with each other on changing expectations and goals. If a couple ignores difficult topics for too long, their relationship is likely to drift into rocky waters without their noticing.
What to Do When Conflict Arises
Disagreements in a relationship are not only normal but, if constructively resolved, actually strengthen the relationship. It is inevitable that there will be times of sadness, tension, or outright anger between you and your partner. The source of these problems may lie in unrealistic/unreasonable demands, unexplored expectations, or unresolved issues/behaviors in one partner or in the relationship. Resolving conflicts requires honesty, a willingness to consider your partner's perspective even if you don't fully understand it, and lots of communication.
Healthy communication is critical, especially when there are important decisions regarding sex, career, marriage, and family to be made. The following are some guidelines for successful communication and conflict resolution.
- Understand each other's family patterns — Find out how conflicts were managed (or not managed) in your partner's family, and talk about how conflict was approached (or avoided) in your own family. It is not unusual for couples to discover that their families had different ways of expressing anger and resolving differences. If your family wasn't good at communicating or resolving conflict constructively, give yourself permission to try out some new ways of handling conflict.
- Timing Counts — Contrary to previous notions, the best time to resolve a conflict may not be immediately. It is not unusual for one or both partners to need some time to cool off. This "time-out" period can help you avoid saying or doing hurtful things in the heat of the moment, and can help partners more clearly identify what changes are most important. Remember - if you are angry with your partner but don't know what you want yet, it will be nearly impossible for your partner to figure it out!
- Establish an Atmosphere of Emotional Support — Emotional support involves accepting your partner's differences and not insisting that he or she meet your needs only in the precise way that you want them met. Find out how your partner shows his or her love for you, and don't set absolute criteria that require your partner to always behave differently before you're satisfied.
- Agree to Disagree and Move On — Most couples will encounter some issues upon which they will never completely agree. Rather than continuing a cycle of repeated fights, agree to disagree and negotiate a compromise or find a way to work around the issue.
- Distinguish between things you want versus things you need from your partner — For example, for safety reasons, you might need your partner to remember to pick you up on time after dark. But calling you several times a day may really only be a "want."
- Clarify Your Messages — A clear message involves a respectful but direct expression of your wants and needs. Take some time to identify what you really want before talking to your partner. Work on being able to describe your request in clear, observable terms. For example, you might say, "I would like you to hold my hand more often" rather than the vague, "I wish you were more affectionate."
- Discuss One Thing at a Time — It can be tempting to list your concerns or grievances, but doing so will likely prolong an argument. Do your best to keep the focus on resolving one concern at a time.
- Really Listen — Being a good listener requires the following: (a) don't interrupt, (b) focus on what your partner is saying rather than on formulating your own response, and (c) check out what you heard your partner say. You might start this process with: "I think you are saying..." Or "what I understood you to say was..." This step alone can prevent misunderstandings that might otherwise develop into a fight.
- Restrain yourself — Research has found that couples who "edit" themselves and do not say all the angry things they may be thinking are typically the happiest.
- Adopt a "Win-Win" Position — A "win-win" stance means that your goal is for the relationship, rather than for either partner, to "win" in a conflict situation. Ask yourself: "Is what I am about to say (or do) going to increase or decrease the odds that we'll work this problem out?"
Healthy and Problematic Expectations in Relationships
Each of us enters into romantic relationships with ideas about what we want based on family relationships, what we've seen in the media, and our own past relationship experiences. Holding on to unrealistic expectations can cause a relationship to be unsatisfying and to eventually fail. The following will help you to distinguish between healthy and problematic relationship expectations:
- Respect Changes — What you want from a relationship in the early months of dating may be quite different from what you want after you have been together for some time. Anticipate that both you and your partner will change over time. Feelings of love and passion change with time, as well. Respecting and valuing these changes is healthy. Love literally changes brain chemistry for the first months of a relationship. For both physiological and emotional reasons, an established relationship will have a more complex and often richer type of passion than a new relationship.
- Accept Differences — It is difficult, but healthy, to accept that there are some things about our partners that will not change over time, no matter how much we want them to. Unfortunately, there is often an expectation that our partner will change only in the ways we want. We may also hold the unrealistic expectation that our partner will never change from the way he or she is now.
- Express Wants and Needs — While it is easy to assume that your partner knows your wants and needs, this is often not the case and can be the source of much stress in relationships. A healthier approach is to directly express our needs and wishes to our partner.
- Respect Your Partner's Rights — In healthy relationships, there is respect for each partner's right to have her/his own feelings, friends, activities, and opinions. It is unrealistic to expect or demand that that he or she have the same priorities, goals, and interests as you.
- Be Prepared to "Fight Fair." — Couples who view conflict as a threat to the relationship often find that accumulated and unaddressed conflicts are the real threat. Healthy couples fight, but they "fight fair" - accepting responsibility for their part in a problem, admitting when they are wrong, and seeking compromise.
- Maintain the Relationship — Most of us know that keeping a vehicle moving in the desired direction requires not only regular refueling, but also ongoing maintenance and active corrections to the steering to compensate for changes in the road. A similar situation applies to continuing relationships. While we may work hard to get the relationship started, expecting to cruise without effort or active maintenance typically leads the relationship to stall or crash! Though gifts and getaways are important, it is often the small, nonmaterial things that partners routinely do for each other that keep the relationship satisfying.
Outside Pressures on the Relationship
Differences in Background - Even partners coming from very similar cultural, religious, or economic backgrounds can benefit from discussing their expectations of how a good boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse behaves. What seems obvious or normal to you may surprise your partner, and vice versa. If you are from different backgrounds, be aware that you may need to spend more time and energy to build your relationship. Take the time to learn about your partner's culture or religion, being careful to check out what parts of such information actually fit for your partner.
Time Together and Apart - How much time you spend together and apart is a common relationship concern. If you interpret your partner's time apart from you as, "he or she doesn't care for me as much as I care for him or her," you may be headed for trouble by jumping to conclusions. Check out with your partner what time alone means to him or her, and share your feelings about what you need from the relationship in terms of time together. Demanding what you want, regardless of your partner's needs, usually ends up driving your partner away, so work on reaching a compromise.
Your Partner's Family - For many students, family remains an important source of emotional, if not financial, support during their years at the university. Some people find dealing with their partner's family difficult or frustrating. It can help to take a step back and think about parental good intentions. Families may offer well-intentioned advice about your relationship or your partner. It's important that the two of you discuss and agree on how you want to respond to differing family values and support one another in the face of what can be very intense "suggestions" from family.
Friends - There are some people who seem to believe that "I have to give up all my friends unless my partner likes them as much as I do." Giving up friends is not healthy for you or the relationship, except in circumstances where your friends pressure you to participate in activities that are damaging to yourself and the relationship. At the same time, keep in mind that your partner may not enjoy your friends as much as you do. Negotiate which friends you and your partner spend time with together. You might ask: "Which of my friends do you enjoy seeing and which ones would you rather I see alone or at other times when I'm not with you?"
Eight Basic Steps to Maintaining a Good Relationship
- Be aware of what you and your partner want for yourselves and what you want from the relationship.
- Let one another know what your needs are.
- Realize that your partner will not be able to meet all your needs. Some of these needs will have to be met outside of the relationship.
- Be willing to negotiate and compromise on the things you want from one another.
- Do not demand that a partner change to meet all your expectations. Work to accept the differences between your ideal mate and the real person you are dating.
- Try to see things from the other's point of view. This doesn't mean that you must agree with one another all the time, but rather that both of you can understand and respect each other's differences, points of view, and separate needs.
- Where critical differences do exist in your expectations, needs, or opinions, try to work honestly and sincerely to negotiate. Seek professional help early rather than waiting until the situation becomes critical.
- Do your best to treat your partner in a way that says, "I love you and trust you, and I want to work this out."
* "Healthy Romantic Relationships During College", Suzanne Fremont, Ph.D.
Custom Campus Workshops
The personal counseling center can customize each workshop to fit student needs and time allotment. If you are interested in scheduling a workshop please contact the personal counseling center directly at 716-829-7815 or e-mail email@example.com.